It's been a while...

I haven't blogged since getting pregnant, having a baby, selling our house, building a house, Adam getting a new job and I got a new job. Wow, no wonder I haven't blogged in 3 years, ha! I don't even know where to begin. Our lives have been a whirlwind since getting pregnant with our sweet baby, Culley Ann. Naturally, I'll start there.

July 2013

On a typical Sunday morning, I was getting dressed for church (running late, of course) and Adam was already dressed and cooking us breakfast. I ran through the kitchen trying to get to the laundry room to find something to wear. I mentioned to Adam that I was feeling nauseous. He casually said, "Maybe you're pregnant." *Sidenote: I had not had my period since May (it was July), but this wasn't unusual with PCOS.* I shrugged his comment off at first, but then I started thinking and thought I might as well take a pregnancy test. I took one, then two, three, and finally a fourth one. They all confirmed it...I was FINALLY pregnant after years and years of negative tests. It was the two lines I'd been waiting to see for as long as I can remember!

I'd always planned on telling Adam in some creative, sweet, loving, and memorable way. That DID NOT happen. I walked into the kitchen (white as a ghost, I later found out) and showed him the test tests I had taken. He hugged my neck and we both cried like big ol' babies right there in the same kitchen we got engaged in.

We went to church and I couldn't tell you a thing the preacher preached on that day. All I remember is thinking, "There is a baby in my stomach. There is...a baby in my stomach. There is a baby...in my stomach." I couldn't get over the fact that after years of continual prayer, God had finally blessed us with a child. Of course, I always knew it'd be in His timing if that is what He had planned for Adam and me, but I will admit I doubted Him when I knew I shouldn't have. Silly me.

I called my OBGYN as soon as they opened Monday morning. They made me an appointment for Wednesday. Adam wanted me to wait to tell anyone in case something was wrong or I wasn't far enough along yet. I couldn't. I had to tell my parents. *Sidenote: My mom has told me for years she wanted to find out I was pregnant by getting balloons and flowers.* My mom was out of town, so on Tuesday, I called a flower shop in Columbus, GA and talked to a lady I didn't know at all. She and I cried together as I told her that I wanted to send my momma balloons and flowers with a note that read, "Baby Carnes and I will see you on Friday."

I was getting my nails done when my momma called me with tears of joy. She was so excited and couldn't wait to get home to see us! That same afternoon, I loaded up our dog with her t-shirt on that read "Big Sister" and we went to see my daddy. When Piper jumped out of the back of my truck, he read the t-shirt and looked up at me with big crocodile tears in his eyes. He was equally as excited to be a granddaddy as my momma was to be a Pitty-Pat.

On Wednesday, Adam and I went to the OBGYN. We found out I was 9 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby. Adam called his aunt on the way home and told her. She was ecstatic. We then went to his parents house and told them we were adding on to our family by 2 feet. Everyone was so excited!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

After much anticipation, Adam and I decided to post our blog about beginning our journey with PCOS. If you missed reading it, please view it here. Wow, we cannot even begin to express our appreciation and thankfulness to all our friends and family for their love and support. We were completely overwhelmed with the comments, calls, and texts we received! Thank you all so very much for the well wishes and prayers! We are so blessed to have you all in our lives! We love you all!

And So It Begins...

I can't believe 2012 is almost over! It has gone by wayyyy too fast! As usual, my family has been blessed beyond belief this year! Today, as I begin to write this blog entry, I can't help but think of all the things I have to be so very thankful for; however, I still feel like a piece of my heart is missing. The only other time my heart felt like this is before Adam and I started dating. I felt I was longing for something I hadn't found yet. That is, until Adam and I started dating and I then filled that missing piece. Now, as we begin the journey to start our family, my heart aches to find that last missing piece, a child. 
At the beginning of the year, I began to follow a sweet friend's struggle with having a baby. It was an eye opener for Adam and me. We knew my body acted...for lack of a better word, wacky all the time. Deep down, I think I knew I had something "wrong" with me. Until I read Whitney and Duane's blog, I wasn't sure what it was. As Whitney listed the symptoms, one by one, I began to check them off. I had all the symptoms! 
Adam encouraged pestered me month after month to go to the doctor until finally, in November, I gave in. It was confirmed that indeed, I do have PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). It's not a fatal disease or anything life threatening, just frustrating to say the least. Dr. Williams (the best fertility doctor in North Mississippi) put me on Metformin, which is a diabetes medicine sometimes used for lowering insulin and blood sugar levels in women with PCOS. It also helps regulate menstrual cycles, start ovulation, and reduce the risk of miscarriage. Trust me, it comes with it's own lovely horrible side effects, but if it helps us eventually have a baby, then I can tolerate it. 
In the weeks since getting a diagnosis of PCOS, I have gone through several different emotions. At first, I was freakishly positive about the situation. Deep down, I knew God had control...duh! As time went on, however, I began to become sad. Each time I pulled Facebook up on my phone, I saw another friend announcing their pregnancy or another mother posting pictures of their beautiful child. Yeah, yeah I know I rained on a lot of parades, but I wasn't listening to God. 
Thankfully, my sweet, wonderful, Godly husband pulled me back down to reality and made me see that God has complete control of our lives and I wasn't letting Him show me the way. Daily, I read and reread Psalm 27:14, "Wait for the LORD. Be strong and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the LORD." 
So, no baby yet, but that's okay. As we know, it's all in God's timing because you see, I am not waiting on a baby; I am waiting upon the Lord.

Adam

Okay, tonight I'm a little sad. Okay, A LOT sad! My husband, my best friend, and the love of my life is hurting. Yes, physically hurting. He's at the Mississippi State Fire Academy in the infamous Smoke Diver class. I'm not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for Adam. After all, he chose to go to this torturous  class. I'm writing this because I've never had this feeling. In the 2 years we've been married, I've never had this heart wrenching feeling . Let me tell you...it's ZERO fun! Being so far away with no way of taking the pain away from him is terrible, awful, and extraordinarily painful for me! Props to Army wives--I have no idea how you do this for a year or more! My heart is 3 hours South, but my body and tears are here in Pontotoc and tomorrow, they'll be in Hickory Flat--my poor kiddos :(

For those of you that don't have the privilege of knowing Adam Carnes, let me tell you a little about him. He's the most soft-hearted guy you'll ever meet. He'd give his last cent and the shirt off his back to someone he thought needed it more than him. He works so hard to provide for the family we are building together. He was born a firefighter. He lives and breathes to fight fires. Next to God and our family, it's the most important thing in his life. He thrives on being a 3rd generation firefighter and he loves to imagine our child being a 4th generation firefighter (Umm, not this future Mommy!). If you earned Smoke Diver by being a "good ole boy", then hands down, he'd have it! Unfortunately, that's not how it works. 

Usually, Adam is the positive in our relationship and I'm the "Negative Nancy"; however, tonight he was so down on himself. It was disheartening for me. I just wanted to crawl through the phone and put my arms around his neck like never before! If he had half the faith in himself as I have in him, then let me tell you, he'd be running through those horrible evolutions. So, I wrote all this to ask this...Tonight, when you're saying your prayers, please include Adam (and Jeremy). Pray they can give their pain to God and just do what they do best...fight fires. Pray God gives them the strength they need to get through 72 more hours at MSFA! Most of all, pray they give all the glory to God because without Him, they wouldn't be where they are today! 

Monday Madness

Today was another Monday. I'm still loving my job, loving my kids, and loving my school; however, why am I always soooooooo exhausted on Monday afternoons? I am seriously considering going to bed at 7:30, ha! The only reason I'm not is because Piper is looking at me like I'm crazy for getting in the bed when it's still light outside!

First Day of School

Well, tomorrow is the day. The day I've been waiting on my entire life. I will finally be able to begin the career I've always wanted to do. I can't wait to meet my kids and get to know them. I know there will be challenges, but I am so ready to learn! I just hope they're as ready to learn as I am, ha!




These are the only good classroom pictures I have. I tried not making it too elementary, but fun at the same time!

What a Starr

I’m a Daddy’s girl, plain and simple; however, my sweet momma is my best friend. Though I may not act like it at times, she is one of the only people in the whole world that can comfort me no matter what. She has supported me in everything I have ever tried, whether I failed or succeeded. I can call her at any time of the day and know that she will be there.

I often take her for granted when I should be thanking the Lord for allowing me to have such an amazing mother. She sacrifices daily to provide me with everything I need or want. Without her, I would not be starting my life-long dream of teaching tomorrow. She has inspired me to become the best teacher and mentor to my students that I can be. If I can make a difference in half as many students lives as she has, I'll be doing good.

I love you Momma!